phew

may is over. thank GOD! the whole month was one "to do" after another... it was non stop. I honestly could not have told you at any given week what the date was. I felt like my car was on cruise control, my brain on no sleep mode and in all of that - a little clarity came my way.

i was reminded again that what another ones life may seem - it very well may not be. as i sat holding a teething screaming baby in one arm and another three month old baby in the other arm - i again told myself never judge a book by it's cover.

i always tell our pal - you have to let the bad feelings out in order to let more good in - at a friends wedding - i saw two old friends - no longer friends - relationships that ended on some not so great terms - and while i thought that maybe i wanted to have those relationships back in my life - i was a reminded that, in fact, my life is right where it is suppose to be.

exercise always does a body good. even though i didn't run in the time i wanted to run my half in - i ran - and i just keep on running - i'm loving it. i have a quote that's mine - "working out and sex are the same for women. you don't always want to do them, but after you're done, you're so happy you did." and it's true...

life will continue to challenge us - as i watch adam come home from work to see the little guy i watch - or see him feed him breakfast - it breaks my heart - with happiness and sadness all at once - i don't even want to say that i wish it was easy for us to have a family - because i think if having kids was easy for us - our relationship wouldn't be where it is today - but i wish we had more answers - the current dilemma - do we choose a closed donor or an open donor - challenges - the best part about it - we get to choose what to do with them.

gluten - it's been our of our life since the end of March - and we couldn't feel better - health wise - i'm so happy to have that nasty little bugger gone - it wasn't doing us any good anyways.

lastly - a quote i love so much...

"One must have chaos in oneself in order to give birth to a dancing star." - Nietzsche.

(our babies are going to be dancers ladies :))