its way past my bedtime

but look at this baby.... she turned one yesterday and i had the privilege of taking her picture. her momma and i went to school together, she was a year old, but at the grade-high school that i went to - you knew everyone ten years ahead of you and five years behind you.... it's rural america people....

we took pictures at her parents place - it's a photographers dream come true. her dad fixes old trucks and makes them look and sound just beautiful. they have a huge garden in the backyard, lush green lawn, a white picket fence, old car parts.... sure put a smile on my face after being there for less than 30 seconds.

this picture could easily be my all time favorite... i have 120 more to go - but i can't stop looking at it... i love my job. i love photography and i even love lightroom and photoshop a tiny tiny bit - let's not get carried away people.



thank you jess & peggy - for a beautiful setting and a beautiful baby girl

(waiting for baby kiddos - don't be hating - she waited for a long time for this one :))

sweet dreams.... j

my mr.

this is my husband.



this is his first time holding our little niece. i love the look on his face. it also makes me a little sad. this is his first time holding her - it was just the three of us - he's been around her a bunch - i can't resist holding her - or another baby - no matter how much it hurts. in looking for our donor we spent a lot of time trying to find someone that was really really healthy. we found someone we really liked - he was allergic to nuts and bee stings - i have told some of our good friends, "if you fall in love with someone who is allergic to bees - that's your deal - if you can pick the dna - you should have the cream of the crop." adam has some health issues - nothing you can see on the outside. he has von willebrand disease. he's allergic to shellfish. friday he called me... coughing a little bit. driving in the car. reporting to me that he needed a walk in clinic. i met him at the er... because he looked like this....



the man i feel in love with. the man i will spend my life with.... is allergic to bees. in the 11 years that we've been together... neither one of us have been stung. he tried to play the cool man cool guy trick. he was going into anaphylactic shock. one iv, one breathing treatment & a few kisses from wifey later... my mr. was almost back to normal. i love him so much. for every flaw, medical condition and imperfection he has - i have twice as many. he's one amazing man... and another reason... why... i'm the lucky one.

flowers from the yard

another thing that i am grateful for.

getting back to basics

i believe it's our generations responsibility to get back to basics. to teach our children that things will not bring us long standing happiness. i spent many years believe things would. getting back to the basics in my life has brought me great joy. i planted my first square foot garden this year. my mom got me the kit for my birthday, my brother picked the most beautiful soil for me, my husband put it together and together we planted some plants and some seeds and watched something beautiful in front of us grow & survive. my mom had a garden while i was growing up - my dad is a crop farmer - so watching plants grow and harvest has always been part of my life. adam has never been a part of it. he's like a kid in the candy store watching everything grow. today - i made my first ever pasta sauce. from scratch. with ingredients from our garden. the only thing i added that we didn't grow was olive oil and the garlic. can't wait to have it for dinner tomorrow night! i love summer!

moving forward

i have a good friend here - she's part of the mommy group that i hang out with. yes girls - did you hear that - i have a mommy group. one of my really good friends here introduced me to a great group of girls. all of them have a unique and great story as to how and why they got their babies.... some on the first try, some with devine intervention, some after years of trying and one who went all the way across the world to get the cutest little girl you've ever seen.... the good friend here is a PA at an OB office - i told her i wanted a good regular doctor here since we've decided on the donor route - she lined me up with someone who's not taking new patients, deals with high risk, and got me in in two weeks. i met her - she has a "home grown baby" at home an adopted baby - and her partner also is gluten free- how's that for rockstar treatment... and knowing exactly what i need. i went to see her on friday - she signed the last form that needed signing that will allow for us to TTC at home.... so that's it.... now it just has to be faxed in, decide on a date... and get start... we should be excited as all get out... truth be told... i'm a little scared. or maybe a lot scared... now... it's all on me.

a few things i love

1. tosh.o - it's not ok - and 100% amazing

2. my mom and dad - it very well might be the best thing that happened to me... yes yes yes i get that without them i wouldn't be here - but with them - i'm everything!

3. my nephews - the two year old loves onions, the five year old sings justin bieber with a gangster twist and the seven year old knows more sports trivia than i do... the feeling of pride i have in those boys must be of some comparison to how people feel about their own kids - but don't express... it's also a statement of saying that my brother and his wife are made out of pure amazement -

4. my niece - yeah yeah - the one i cried about - i put her in my mobi and she falls right asleep - she's adorable and sweet and kind and she LOVES jam n jelly nail polish by essie - also my favorite color... can you blame me for falling in love?

5. my husband - he hands down brings the awesome to awesomeness - even more awesome than the day i found out that pizza hut pizza circles in the middle of the pizza also second as barbie end tables... think about it? :)

6. decisions - they are hard - but so worth it.

a little something

since making the decision that we've made - it's like we're 19 again and falling in love all over. who says being an adult isn't fun?